This lot promised us they're not crap and boring like all those other bands. So we decided to check out their music ...
Hometown: London.
The lineup: Luke (lead vocals, guitar), William (organ, keyboard, vocals), Tom (drums, vocals).
The background: So we got this email the other week about how appalling the contemporary British rock scene is, and the coverage thereof, from a chap called Luke. Contrary to recent reports, he wrote, rock isn't dead, but the bands covered in the mainstream press suggest otherwise. He didn't name many offenders, but one that did crop up with alarming regularity was Brother, who have become the easy target for anyone being derogatory about the current state of rock.
Anyway, it turned out that ? surprise! ? our correspondent was in a band. They're called Sex Beet and, he promised, they're not crap and boring at all, not like all those other bands (ie Brother, because he didn't mention anyone else). Sex Beet were bypassing all the usual channels and, without recourse to hype, management, marketing or media, doing rather well, thank you. "We've spent the past six months travelling the world for free, putting out records on independent labels, meeting the hottest chicks, and just generally having the absolute time of our fucking lives," he gushed, which, as you can imagine, made us want to hear his music.
It's not bad, actually. Stay!, the first track on their MySpace, is an echoey din heard through a wall of noise, basically a 60s garage/Nuggets-influenced racket. I'm in Love With You (So Shut the Fuck Up) has a drizzle of Farfisa and sounds like a demo for an alternative Clash debut album that didn't include Janie Jones because it was too sophisticated and complex. She Don't Surf is the Beach Boys doing Chuck Berry only way less artfully than the Drums, with a whiff of 1981 rockabilly revivalists such as the Polecats. The singer's yelp is almost Tom Verlaine-ish but we're clutching at complimentary straws here. Finally, there's Scarecrow, a dank rumble redolent of the Fall doing the B-52s' Rock Lobster or ? and the Mysterians' 96 Tears, and Right Here (Swampmeat), which is almost Fire Engines-ish in its spindly jerkiness, only nowhere near as sexy. "1-2-3-4!" the singer shouts. It's all so crude and raw you suspect it's some highbrow joke.
But is it really? We weren't sure, so we phoned the gentleman in question, to find out. Are Sex Beet, we asked him, arthouse pranksters? What's the concept, Luke? Turns out there isn't one. We were expecting some mad manifesto, a blizzard of blather, from a radical firebrand. Not quite. "It started as a joke," he explained. "We decided to form a band for a friend's birthday party. Then we put some songs on MySpace and we got offered a tour in France." He won't be drawn on who he thinks is dragging the current rock scene into the mire (even Brother fail to get a drubbing), and instead cites some bands we've never heard of who he believes should be getting written about.
Beyond that, he talks vaguely about a lack of substance today, but stresses that Sex Beet are about nothing more involved than "having fun". And that's it. We were expecting some crazed agenda, especially after we saw their press kit was titled Propaganda, but sadly none was forthcoming. Live shows apparently witness scenes of Caligulan excess, and we like the rumour going round that Sex Beet are London's most arrogant band, even if we didn't quite get that impression from our phone call (although to be fair Luke was at the station and could hardly hear us, nor us him). We still reckon they'll be working in banks this time next year, but what do you think of Sex Beet, readers?
The buzz: "They are loud, twangy, snotty and quite brilliant" ? Vice.
The truth: See, we don't like everything we hear.
Most likely to: Impress Lenny Kaye.
Least likely to: Impress Danny Kaye.
What to buy: The She Don't Surf 7in EP is available on A Fistful of Records, and you can download I'm in Love With You (So Shut the Fuck Up) for free.
File next to: Polecats, Cramps, the Fall, ? and the Mysterians.
Links: myspace.com/sexbeet.
Monday's new band: Swimming.
FSU Cowgirls Abbie Cornish Krista Allen Hayden Panettiere Jules Asner
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